How bad can a movie be? Well, let’s find out with The Emoji Movie!

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September 25, 2017 by King Cisco

Boy. Oh boy. I thought Spiderman: Homecoming was bad. At least that movie had good parts to make up for it. But, this abomination of a movie was so bland and uninspired that I’ll give every single movie I hated before in my life a pass for not being this. I saw The Emoji Movie, asked for a refund, and the guy actually gave it to me. Nevertheless, I give you the Emoji Movie.

The cast consists of T.J. Miller, who plays Gene, a multi-expression emoji. James Corden plays HI-5, a high five emoji. Patrick Stewart plays Poop, so we can make the joke that Patrick Stewart is poop. Maya Rudolph is Smiler, the queen emoji. Steven Wright and Jennifer Coolidge play Mel and Mary Meh. And Anna Faris plays Jailbreak, the rebellious emoji who knows how to hack and is a princess emoji (SPOILER ALERT).

The Emoji Movie is shown at theaters like Cinema 18 & XD, Rave Cinemas Baldwin Hills Crenshaw Plaza 15 + Xtreme, AMC South Bay Galleria 16, AMC Del Amo 18, AMC Universal CityWalk 19 (Los Angeles), and many more theaters.

The movie is about the emoji named Gene that’s designed to be a meh emoji, but has a defect where he shows different emotions. He tries to control his emotions, but he ends up messing up and creates this weird messed up looking emoji (keep this in mind) when the phones owner tries to text a girl. Then, Gene gets shunned and has to go fix himself with the help of HI-5 and Jailbreak.

They go on a journey obviously only added to advertise apps, and then finally go to Drop Box to fix Gene’s coding. But, he eventually figures out that he needs to be himself and save the phone which is about to be deleted. Gene does the same thing he did before when he messed up, but this time he sends a GIF. And, from out of nowhere Jailbreak reveals she was the princess emoji to everyone, and they’re shocked even though the movie told us she was earlier, so the reveal was pointless. The movie ends with Gene realizing who he was meant to be and learns to be himself.

I have asked many people their opinions on the movie, and they said that the movie was either bad or the most despised movie of their life. One person I talked to said that, “If you gave a monkey a laptop, he’ll bang it so hard that the keyboard will break, and he would try to fix it and accidentally send it to you. What he would write would be 100 times better than the Emoji Movie.”

I could name a whole bunch of problems like inaccuracies on phones, advertising, three plot lines (even though two of them are not even touched upon most of the time and have nothing to do with the conclusion). But, the real reason why I hate this movie is because nothing is original in it.
There are a lot of cliches took from other better movies like Wreck-It-Ralph, Inside Out, and The Lego Movie. And, I realized hardly anything is original. There are good movies like Wonder Woman, The War of the Planet of the Apes, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2., and later this year Star Wars that each have original ideas, even if they’re sequels. Then, there’s this, which steals from original movies and some how makes it worse.
The problem is this story was so uninspired and dull that even kids were relived when this movie was over. An emoji movie was risky, but if they can make a movie about LEGO’S work, then with care this movie can also be good. All it needs are caring people who know how to make movies. But, this movie suffers from so much advertising, cliches, and unoriginality that it comes across as bad, which is sad because the movie looks good and has great voice acting. I think movies should be made by people who care, not people who want money. 
I give this movie a 1/10. 

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